


Pesy One Shots

by 1TheArtOfLosing1



Category: Little Mix (Band)
Genre: F/F, I just needed to write down my Pesy feels, Maybe I'll even sprinkle some cheesiness, There is way too little Pesy fic out there, There will be fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-03-27 14:47:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19015063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1TheArtOfLosing1/pseuds/1TheArtOfLosing1
Summary: A collection of Pesy One Shots. Feel free to send me prompts!





	1. Stay with me tonight?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my fic! I'd like to thank Sydd for her amazing editing skills and support! I would never have dared to post this without her. If you'd like to read some good Pesy fic, go check her stories out! They are awesome!!! Her AO3 is @16Sydd16.
> 
> Enjoy the story ;)

**Prompt: "Stay with me tonight?"**

 

It was over.

It was done.

 _She was done._  

When Jesy walked in on him kissing yet another girl in his bedroom, she ended it. She dropped her key to his house on the floor and slammed his door on the way out for good measure. She couldn't take his lies anymore. Knowing that she wasn't enough, that he needed his side-chicks to be satisfied made her want to cry. She felt so worthless, and she wondered how the man that she once believed loved her so dearly could keep doing this to her time and time again. He hadn't even gone after her when she left, hadn't even tried to lie his way out of it like he usually did. That was when she knew that he no longer cared if she stayed or left, and at that point she couldn't help but wonder if he ever actually cared at all.

 

Now, here she was outside his house. The night was dark, the wind cold and the rain coming down in sheets around her. She stood there a minute, trying to process everything that had just happened, how drastically her life had changed in a matter of seconds, not really knowing what to do. It wasn't long before the tears on her cheeks became indistinguishable from the raindrops falling on her face.

_Was this what it felt like to snap?_

She didn't know why it hurt so much. After all, it's not like this is the first time he'd cheated on her, nor would it have been the last if she'd stayed. His excuse was always the same: It was a moment of weakness, the girl meant nothing to him, and Jesy was his one and only, she was all he needed. Each time, she knew he was lying. She meant nothing more to him than a cigarette. He'd use her and then stamp her out on the ground, leave her there to rot. But, he knew what she wanted to hear and always said it, and she found comfort in his lies. She let him keep telling them, because they were easier to stand than the truth. 

 _"Why would you leave, Jesy?"_ He'd ask each time. _"You know I love you, and you need me."_

The problem was, she did believe she needed him back then. He made her feel wanted and beautiful. Like someone actually cared, even though she knew he didn't. She thought there wasn't anyone better out there for her. Now, she realised anyone was better than him. He had been abusive to her multiple times when he was drunk, or high, or both. He tried to cut her off from the girls, and from her family. He didn't want her to be happy, and she could see that so clearly now.

What a waste of time he had been.

Not knowing what else to do, Jesy took her phone out of her pocket and dialed her best friend's number. A few moments passed before Jesy could hear the other girl's voice on the line.

"Jesminda! What's up?" She sounded so lighthearted and happy it instantly made Jesy feel a bit better.

"Pez..."she tried to speak, but her voice broke and she began to sob.

"Oh, Jes. Don't cry babe!"

"Co-could you p-pick-" she took a deep breath before she continued, "me up please?" She was in no state to walk home at the moment.

"Of course. Where are you?" Perrie said, sounding concerned. "In front of h-his house." Her voice was a bit more stable now but she could feel her body shaking  

”Give me 5 minutes and I'm there. Don't hang up though!" Jesy smiled at Perrie's insistence to stay on the line. It was only a couple of minutes, after all, and Jesy wasn't much in the mood for speaking. But, Perrie knew Jesy needed to know she was there, so she stayed on the phone. In the background, she could hear Perrie's movements, the door opening and closing, the engine of her car roaring to life.

"Jesy?" Perrie asked, as if to make sure nothing had happend to her.

"Still 'ere, baba." Jesy smiled through her sobs, keeping her phone pressed to her ear.

“Good. I'm on my way. Almost there, I swear!"Jesy nodded even though Perrie couldn't see her. She just didn't really feel like talking at the moment.

A few minutes passed before Jesy saw Perrie's car driving towards her, slowing to a stop on the curb in front of her. She got in next to Perrie and the blonde girl hugged her right away.

“Oh, Jes. What's he done now?" Perrie whispered into her neck. She looked up at Jesy with sad eyes and wiped the tears from her cheeks with her sleeve "Do you want to talk about it?" Jesy shook her head a bit.

"Not right now, Pez." Talking could wait until tomorrow. Right now, the pain was too fresh. Her wounds were still too deep and she hadn't recovered from them yet. More tears rolled down Jesy's cheeks, but Perrie was quick to wipe them away again. "Your sleeve..." Jesy laughed and sobbed simultaneously as she looked at Perrie's once white sleeve that was now smeared with black goop, a combination of mascara and eyeliner and tears.

“That's okay," She laughed. "I should probably drive you home now, eh?" Perrie tried to smile at Jesy and pressed a kiss to her forehead before she sat back in her seat and started the car again.

 

They drove the way home in silence, Perrie glancing at Jesy every now and then, or reaching out and gently squeezing her hand. Jesy tried her best to paste on a smile and stop crying, but she wasn't exactly successful in her efforts. Perrie didn't pry, just grabbed a tissue out of the glove box and handed it to her. Jesy mumbled a 'thanks' as she wiped her eyes and nose on the soft fabric of the napkin. Perrie stopped the car in front of Jesy's house and asked, "

”Shall I come inside with you for a minute?"

"That'd be lovely," Jesy whispered, already feeling a lot better here with Perrie than she'd felt when she was standing outside of his house in the rain.

“Would you like to order some pizza?" Perrie asked once they were inside, "Or drink some wine and watch a movie?"

”Actually, I think I'd better head to bed. Is that alright?"

“Of course, babe. I understand," Perrie smiled. "Shall I tuck you in?" Jesy smiled and nodded. She always did love it when Perrie took care of her.

Perrie beamed and they walked inside Jesy's bedroom. She helped Jesy out of her wet clothes and into some comfy jammies.

“You know, you're a lot easier to tuck in when you're sober," Perrie says with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood. Jes tries to muster a smile, but with the way Perrie's looking at her, she must not have been very convincing. Accepting that maybe the mood can't be lightened at the minute, Perrie moved to where Jesy laid in her bed and pulled the sheets over her, making sure that she was comfortable. She couldn't help but stroke her fingers over Jesy's face softly, lovingly.

“Pezza?" Jesy whispered.

“Hm?" She asked with a start, pulling her hands away. Jesy immediately missed the contact.

“Stay with me tonight?" Jesy pleaded, reclaiming one of Perrie's hands in her own.

Perrie blinked a couple times before she smiled and nodded. "Okay, yeah, sure, of course, " she says slowly, stripping down until she's just in a t-shirt and long socks. Once she's finished, Perrie slides under the covers, her arms instinctively wrapping around her sad best friend, and Jesy's head naturally burrowing into her neck.

With Perrie's arms wound tight around her body, Jesy felt like she could finally breathe. In that moment, there was nothing to worry about, because she was safe in Perrie's arms. In that moment, everything was okay again.

 _She was okay again._ **The end x**


	2. “Would it be too cliche if our clothes matched?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Pesy on a trip to get some jammie’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my fic! Quick thanks to Sydd (again), my amazing proofreader and editor! You should check out her fics on 16Sydd16 they’re great! Feel free to send me promts or if you just want to fangirl about the girls on Tumblr @immacryyowzah  
> Enjoy!

**Prompt: “Would it be too cliche if our clothes matched?”**

 

 

When they entered the shop, Perrie didn’t quite know where to look first! She gazed excitedly at the giant selection the store had to offer. As far as her bright blue eyes could see there were loads of sweaters, dresses, shirts, shoes- any kind of clothing one could possibly think of- in all sorts of colors! Her excitement grew the longer she looked, as she began to notice not only the variety of colors, but of materials, fabrics, textures, and shapes! Soft music played in the background, a direct contrast with the loud colors of the clothes, and everywhere people were going from one packed shelf to another.

Perrie smiled and gripped her girlfriend’s arm.

“Pez, not so tight!”Jesy cries. Sometimes, Perrie gets a little too excited.

“Sorry!” Perrie quickly let go with sad puppy eyes and stepped aside to make some space between them. “I’m just happy, you know? Going shopping with my girlfriend,”

She beamed, gazing upon Jesy with adoring eyes. Jesy couldn’t fully get her head around how beautiful Perrie’s eyes were. Right now, they resembled the ocean on a bright, sunny day: placid and gentle, but still quite deep. When she got angry, they still remained the lovely blue of an ocean, but during a hurricane: wild, unpredictable, and maybe even a bit dangerous. But when she smiled? When she smiled her eyes were like the ocean at high tide, the waves rolling out excitedly and swallowing everything in their reach.

Jesy felt like she was drowning every time Perrie looked at her.

“Where would you like to look first?” Jesy asked Perrie, suddenly remembering their task. She would’ve been content to just stare into Perrie’s eyes all day, but she knew Perrie was excited about their little shopping trip. Jesy took Perrie’s hand in hers and pulled her close again, closing the gap between them, waiting for Perrie’s response.

“Maybe pyjama’s?” Perrie finally suggested, snuggling more into Jesy’s side.

Jesy smiled and pulled the blonde girl along towards the hanging sign that said Pyjamas. Just a few moments later the couple was surrounded by jammie’s of all sorts. Perrie stood in front of a shelf full of fluffy pyjama tops and pants. She stroked her fingertips over them, liking how they felt against her skin.

They were so incredibly _soft_.

“Jes! Come feel this!” Perrie shrieked a little too loudly at Jesy, who was standing just a couple feet away looking at a unicorn onesie.

She walked over to Perrie and felt the pants Perrie was holding towards her. Jesy tried to react as happily as Perrie had a moment ago, though she wondered if that was even possible because Perrie was the most excited person she’d ever met. She must have succeeded though, because her girlfriend started to bounce on her heels and grin like a fool.

“Soft, eh?” she said, showing off her perfect white teeth.

“Fan-bloody-tastic!”Jesy gasped for the sake of Perrie’s heart. She thinks Perrie might know she’s overreacting for Perrie’s sake, but both of them know that she just wants “her little Perriewinkle” to be happy, so that’s neither here nor there.

The girls continue to feel the jammies and laugh with each other until Perrie asks: “Would it be too cliche if our clothes matched?”

 _Yeah, a bit_ , Jesy thinks.

“Depends…” she says to Perrie, very, very seriously, but she can’t keep the smile off her face. “What would you like to get for us?”

“I saw a bunch of cute pyjama’s in the corner over there,” Perrie says, turning and pointing at an aisle to their left. Not really caring about anything but making the girl beside her happy, Jesy nods, and Perrie quickly pulls her toward the aisle.

There were loads of matching PJs, but none the girls could agree on. Perrie found a set she liked, the shirts proclaiming _She’s my Rachel_ and _She’s my Monica_ , but as Jesy’s not really a big fan of ‘Friends’ they both agreed it wasn’t the one.

There was another set the girls both liked, which had a jar of Nutella on one and a slice of bread on the other. _You’re the Nutella to my bread._ Problem was, neither of them wanted to be the bread.

There was yet another set which had peanut butter on one shirt and jelly on the other, but it wasn’t quite right either. While it was cute, neither of the girls found pb&j to be a good combination.

Just as they were beginning to worry they’d never find a set they both liked, they found the perfect ones! It appeared that the set was meant to be for a boy and a girl, but neither girl cared about that.

The first shirt said _I’m hot!_ next to the drawing of a campfire, while the second one read _She makes me melt!_ with a doodle of a half-melted marshmallow on a stick.

Perrie, ever the softy, immediately claimed the one with the marshmallow. Jesy, known to be a little bit firey, happily took the one with the cartoon flame.

Later that night Jesy sat draped across the couch in their apartment, playing a game on Perrie’s phone. Perrie smiled at the sight of her girlfriend in her new pyjama’s, her tongue peeking out of her mouth in concentration as she played the game.

She walked over to the coffee table and set down a tray with tea and biscuits before she joined Jesy on the sofa. Jesy left out a content sigh and set down the phone, cuddling up to Perrie.

“I love you, babe.”

Perrie couldn’t help the toothy grin that found its way to her face. She just felt so warm and fuzzy inside hearing her say those three little words. It wasn’t the first time Jesy had uttered them, of course, but it still had the same effect on her.

“I love you too,”she grinned, looking down at their matching jammies. Maybe it was a little cliche, but Perrie couldn’t care less. With Jesy by her side, cheesy pyjamas and all, she was the happiest she’d ever been.

When Perrie opened her phone the next day, her high score was broken and her background was a picture of Jesy and her in matching pyjama’s and Perrie softly snoring with her mouth open on Jesy’s shoulder.

 

She loved this girl so much. 

 

**The end x**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you liked the story! It’s been a while since I posted the last chapter and I’m sorry for that, but I had a lot of work for school. I’m planning to post more frequently though so I’ll see you in the next one shot! Take care kids ;)


	3. Shouldn’t you be with him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesy gets married, Perrie doesn’t like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I’d like to thank my amazing editor Sydd for her help (again) with this one shot. If you have prompts you’d like yo read, feel free to send them on Tumblr @immacryyowzah 
> 
> Enjoy the story!!!

**Prompt: “Shouldn’t you be with him?”**

 

 

“Shouldn’t you be with him?” Perrie asked drily, knocking back the remaining drops of wine in her glass. She should’ve quit drinking 3 glasses ago, when her head had just started to spin, but she figured if any occasion warranted getting sloppy drunk, it was this one.

Jesy turned her head to look at her now husband. He smiled at her and winked, his mates standing close around him and giving him cheeky grins.

“I have to spend the rest of my life with him, some time with my best friend won’t hurt,” Jesy said with a smile that didn’t seem all that real.

Still, Perrie couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked. She wore a long white, sleeveless dress, the top encrusted in tiny diamonds which shone brightly, even in the dim light. Her red hair was pinned close to her head, a couple of loose curls left out to frame her well made-up face. Perrie couldn’t help but remember all the times she’d picked Jesy’s hairpins out after a long show, taking the time to run her fingers through her long red tresses. Perrie loved to play with Jesy’s hair.

“You only have one wedding though,” Perrie said, not even attempting a smile. “One night to celebrate.”

A waiter passed with a tray full of glasses and Perrie scooped one up, taking a large gulp. The wine was white, not red like she’d been drinking all night, but it would get her to a blackout just as quickly, so she didn’t much care.

Jesy watched her with sad eyes, equal parts heartbroken and annoyed. Heartbroken, because she knew how Perrie felt, and annoyed, because tonight was not about Perrie and her feelings, dammit. Still, she couldn’t help but tell Perrie the truth. She at least owed her that.

“I doubt we’ll be together forever,” she said with a cold laugh. Perrie wondered why the hell Jesy had married him, then, but she didn’t tell Jesy that.

“Everything did move sort of quickly, you know. Maybe you just haven’t had enough time to be sure he’s the one yet.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’s not the one,” Jesy said, the pain evident in her eyes.

“Then maybe you just haven’t met the one yet,” Perrie said dismissively.

Jesy was silent for a while, absentmindedly playing with a piece of her dress before she whispered, “I have, actually.”

Perrie knew she was talking about her. Who else would she be talking about? When they had separated, they’d each had a string of boys in their lives that were nothing more than a little fun between the sheets. At least, that’s all they had been for Perrie. Those boys numbed the pain a bit, made her momentarily forget that she was hurting, but not one of them could ever make her forget why. Every time one of those boys looked at her, she’d remember how Jesy used to look at her, toothy smile on her face. She’d remember how her green eyes would glimmer, shining with love and affection. Not even Hatchi, who loved her unconditionally, looked at her like that.

“Then what went wrong between us, Jes?” she asked, unable to hide the break in her voice.

Maybe it was the wine talking, because she had wanted to ask Jesy this question more than once, but had never dared to before tonight. Still, she was glad she’d finally asked, even if it seemed too little too late.

When she looked back,fame was the only answer Perrie could ever come up with, even if it was a piss-poor excuse. Both girls had known that if they went public, there would be hell to pay. Not all the fans would approve, and the paps would write all kinds of lies to make some drama out of it. Still, neither really cared what might happen to them as a result, but they weren’t the only ones they had to think about in this situation. They had to think about Jade and Leigh-Anne. That seemed like a moot point now, with Little Mix firmly cemented in their pasts. It felt like ages, but in actuality it had only been about a year since the four girls went their separate ways. Leigh-Anne had been primarily focusing on her fashion line since then, and Jade was plenty busy with her work as an ally to the LGBT-community and being a singer-songwriter, though she tended to do more writing than singing these days. While Jade had simply put singing on the backburner for a while, Perrie had taken a break completely. It felt a bit like she was missing a leg at first, but the spotlight had done a number on her mentally, and she needed a break. She had to take care of her mental health, first and foremost.

Everything had been such a mess when the band had split. She had tried desperately to get back with Jesy, but Jesy denied her every time, seemingly without reason. Now that Little Mix was no more, there was no real reason to hide. But before she knew it, Jesy was engaged to this random man she’d known for a couple of weeks. That was when Perrie had lost the last bit of sanity she had left. She went away for a little while, removing herself from the situation in order to stay alive.

This was her first semi-public appearance in a while, and the first time she’d seen Jesy in months. It had taken her a lot of courage to come here tonight to the wedding.

Courage wasn’t the right word though. No, it was hope. Hope that Jesy might change her mind and come to her senses when she stood at the altar and looked at the guests, spotting Perrie.

At least, that’s how it would go in some cheesy American rom-com.

“Would you believe me if I say that I don’t know either?”Jesy said, speaking so softly Perrie barely heard her.

Perrie only nodded. She knew Jesy didn’t want to say what had really happened, that she was unable to acknowledge what had gone wrong.

“Just the wrong place, wrong time, eh?” Perrie said, trying unsuccessfully to smile.

Now it was Jesy’s turn to nod. She pulled Perrie in for a hug, burying her face in the blonde’s neck.

“I love you,” she breathed, unable to keep the croak from her voice, her breath a broken whisper against Perrie’s neck.

“I love you too,” Perrie said, eyes tearing for what must’ve been the thousandth time tonight.

Only God knows in which way Jesy meant her declaration, but Perrie liked to believe Jesy still loved Perrie as much as Perrie loved her. But for now, it didn’t matter. What mattered was that Jesy was still here, still in her arms, if only for a moment. Married or not, she would always have a special place in Perrie’s heart, and no one could ever take that from her.

 

_**The end x** _


	4. Does it ever stop?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perrie’s friend Olga is recovering from a bad breakup and it reminds her of her own.  
> Olga is a homemade OC and she isn’t based in any way on a real person. 
> 
> This one is a lil’ sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my amazing editor and friend Sydney, I couldn’t do this without her. 
> 
> Enjoy the story!!

** Prompt: “Does it ever stop?” **

 

 

Perrie refills her wine glass.  _ Again _ . She thinks it’s her fourth refill, if she’s counting. Olga tosses back what’s left in her glass before grabbing the bottle straight from Perrie’s hands. She doesn’t even bother with her glass, just swirling the wine around the bottle a couple of times as she takes a swig here and there. Perrie would complain, except she’d done the exact same thing with the previous bottle. It was only fair to let Olga have her turn on bottle number two. 

_Two bottles in less than two hours_ , Perrie muses, looking at the clock.  _That may be a record._

“I don’t even know where it all went wrong!” Olga cries, breaking Perrie out of her thoughts. Perrie looks at her friend concernedly as she shoves a whole scoop of chocolate icecream into her mouth, straight from the carton. 

At least she’s still using a spoon , Perrie thinks.

 “What went wrong is that he’s a jerk!” Perrie says, sweeping a strand of stray black hair out of her friend’s face and tucking it behind her ear. Perrie had never liked that idiot from the start. He and her friend just didn’t  fit  together. He was just too dark for precious little Olga.

“I know! I’ve known for a long time. It doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

She brought another heaping spoon of ice cream to her mouth and promptly washed it down with a large gulp of wine. 

Perrie couldn’t help but cringe. She’d never really seen the appeal of wine and sweets together. Wine was sweet enough on it’s own, and the extra sugar would make the hangover ten times worse. Not to mention Poor Olga’s lactose intolerance, which she was probably too drunk to even think about at this point. Perrie wondered how long it would take for her to start puking all over the couch.

“Does it ever stop?” Olga asked, interrupting Perrie’s thoughts once again.

“Does what stop, Olina?” she asked, tracing soft circles on the black haired girl’s back.

“The pain?” She said, choking out a hollow laugh. Olga looked up at Perrie, her wide blue eyes filled with tears that were all but ready to be spilled down her cheeks, which were already pretty wet. “I mean, you’ve had an awful break-up too, right?” She sniffled a bit, her skin looking more pale than usual. 

“Uhm...” Perrie was caught off guard by the question, and scrambled to come up with a quick reply. “I mean, Tailor was-“

“No, not just a fling,” Olga says, waving her off. “Have you ever had to get over someone who meant the world to you?

“Yeah,” Perrie said begrudgingly. 

 

Perrie couldn’t help but think of  _her_

 

***

_ Why? _

_ Why did this happen? _

_ Why did Jesy leave her? _

_ Why did she feel so empty and numb? _

_ Why did she feel like she was dying? _

_ Why did dying seem like a suitable solution? _

_ Why? _

 

Perrie cried. She buried her face in her hands, sobbing. Her entire body was shaking and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. She felt a physical pain in her chest, like someone was stabbing her over and over and over again with every breath she took, making every breath harder and harder to take. Her world was collapsing. She wanted to scream but her throat felt dry, and no sound was able to interrupt her constant stream of violent sobbing. Her heart ached so much, there was just no way to describe it.

Everything that made her happy had disappeared in a matter of seconds.

A letter. 

That’s all she had left her. A letter and the precious memories of their time together. The once sweet times they had been together were still fresh in Perrie’s mind, now soured by today’s events. How was she supposed to move on from this girl, from the person she loved most in this universe? Perrie thought that this wasn’t the end for them,  couldn’t be the end for them. They had broken up so many times after little fights, but this was different.

Jesy had never left her a letter. 

Jesy had never said goodbye. 

And now she had. 

“I hope I’ll never run into you again, because I know my heart couldn’t bear it.”

But Perrie needed so see her. Needed to hear her say that they were over because it felt like someone else had written this letter. Some words were a bit blurred from tears that were not her own and Perrie hated the thought that they were Jesy’s. In a way it made her hurt more to know that Jesy was hurting too. How was that even possible? Why would Jesy do something that would cause them both so much pain? The worst pain, even. Right now she felt like nothing in the world could hurt her anymore than the words laid in front of her.

She wanted to call her, hear her voice, but Perrie knew she wouldn’t answer.

She could go to her house but hell, she couldn’t even get to the couch, not like this. She had crashed down right on the spot where she had found the letter, and had not moved since.

5 years together and it had ended like  this?

Did Jesy hate her? What had she done to hurt Jesy so much that she simply couldn’t take it any longer? What happened? What had she done to make Jesy leave her like this? 

Perrie scoured her memory for any ways she’d screwed up, anything she’d done that would warrant Jesy leaving, but she couldn’t come up with anything. Nothing she’d done seemed bad enough to throw away all they had together. 

Then again, Perrie had known they weren’t going to last much longer so Jesy must’ve felt it just the same. They just didn’t know who was going to snap first. 

Their relationship lately was just one big, messed up game of chess, each girl waiting for the other to start the timer and make the first move. 

Perrie had known for months that they couldn’t keep living this way, but at the same time she couldn’t fathom being with Jesy for any less than an eternity. At least, she had hoped they’d be together forever. Losing Jesy was always Perrie’s worst fear, and now she had. 

Perrie had lived with the constant fear of Jesy leaving her for some time now, had tried to be ready for the day the unthinkable would happen, but she realizes now that nothing could’ve prepared her for this.

Perrie had taken her for granted. She hadn’t appreciated her enough, hadn’t cherished her like she should have. Every moment she looked at Jesy had been a blessing and she never realised that until now.

You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, right? 

She wondered if Jesy was hurting as much as she was. For a split second, Perrie almost wished she could make Jesy feel like she was, make her feel the unbearable tightness of her chest, the incredible heaviness of her heart. 

But she knew that even if she had the chance to do so, she wouldn’t do it.

Never again would she hurt Jesy on purpose. 

Her mind was telling her to despise Jesy. To hate her and be mad at her for making her feel like this. That was rational, right? Shouldn’t it be impossible to love someone who’s caused you so much pain? Yet somehow, Perrie’s heart held nothing but love for Jesy. She loved her so much, and if that girl were to walk into the room right now, Perrie would feel nothing but happiness. 

Her heart just couldn’t let go. She would have left everything for Jesy. Everything she had.Her friends, family, career,...

But it didn’t matter anymore. She was gone.

Just like that.

They say it takes a minute to like someone, and an hour to love them. But to forget someone? They say that takes a lifetime.

How true that was. Perrie had liked Jesy the moment she laid eyes on her, loved her the moment they first spoke, but forget her? She could never forget her, not until her heart stilled it’s beating in her chest and blood no longer pumped through her veins. Maybe not even then. 

She didn’t want to forget Jesy, that was the problem. She had been her very happiest with Jesy and she never wanted to forget that feeling.

Her time with Jesy had been the best of her life. 

After what seemed like minutes, hours, days- Perrie couldn’t tell, her sense of time distorted by her pain- she finally gathered the strength to look up from her hands. Her sobbing calmed, and her breathing slowed. She was still shaking, but not quite so violently, and her chest still hurt. She stared at the wall in front of her, and her eyes caught an empty frame.

Jesy had most certainly taken the picture with her and Perrie wondered why. There was nothing about the missing picture that was special, or even particularly memorable, considering the collection they had. In fact, it was one of probably a thousand pictures taken that day, and at least three or four of those had made their way onto the wall somewhere in their shared dwelling. 

Perrie wondered how many times she’s looked at that picture, as she could recall it in perfect detail though the picture was gone.

The photo was of she and Jes in the local park, Jesy pressing a kiss to Perrie’s cheek and Perrie grinning at the camera like a lovesick fool. It had been their one year anniversary, and while that was a pretty special day, they had far better pictures hanging around their house. 

She thought for a minute. What was so special about that picture?

Wait...

Jesy had said ‘I love you’ just before this photo was taken.

For the first time. 

How could Perrie forget that?

She had been so happy to finally hear Jesy say it after a year. Perrie had told her a month or so into their relationship, always unable to keep her feelings to herself, but Jesy had been so scared to open up to her. And then,  finally , she told her. Those three little words and Perrie felt like she couldn’t be happier. How the hell did she forget that so easily? Maybe because after that Jesy had told her every day more than once and she started to get used to it. How stupid of her! How utterly insane had she been to get used to it?

Perrie’s sobs picked up once again.  I was an idiot. A stupid, foolish idiot. Why did Jesy ever love me?

Not that it matters. None of it mattered now.

As the weeks went by, Perrie cried less but the hurt was still the same. After some months she felt a little better, and after a year, she didn’t feel much.

She still felt love for Jesy of course, but the pain had become a part of her. Something she carried with her and in a way, cherished.

An ever-present reminder of how special Jesy had been to her. How special she still was.

How special she would always be. 

 

***

 

“Perrie?” Olga questioned, snapping her back to reality.

“Sorry what?” she asked, a little dazed.

“Does it stop?” Olga’s voice was on the edge of breaking. 

“No. It doesn’t,” Perrie whispered. “But, it gets easier with time. You learn how to cope”

“Does time heal all wounds?” Olga asked, parroting words she’d heard many times before. 

“No,” Perrie says honestly, stroking Olga’s cheek. “It’s more like a bandage. It covers it up a bit, and if you don’t rip it off, it’ll stay that way.”

“But you can’t keep a bandage on for ever, can you?”

“No, you can’t. Sometimes it’ll come off and it  will hurt, but less and less every time.”

Olga shook her head in understanding, then let out a sob and launched herself into Perrie’s arms. Perrie made soft shushing sounds, stroking her friend’s back in an effort to calm her down. After just a few seconds, Olga pulled back and ran towards the bathroom, looking rather pale.

The lactose had finally hit. Perrie laughed a bit to herself before she followed Olga into the bathroom to hold her hair back.

After Olga’s little spell, they found they were both a bit too sober, so they opened yet another bottle of wine, eventually losing count of how many bottles they drank. 

 

And just like that, Perrie’s wounds were closed, her bandage secure once again. 

 

    **The end x**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it so let me know what you think in the comments or on Tumblr  
> @immacryyowzah
> 
> See you in the next one shot!


	5. Pesy and their baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perrie and Jesy adopt a baby, and the day has come to take her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Syd for editing another one shot, I could never do this without her.

 

“Are you nervous?” Perrie asks, giving Jesy’s hand a little squeeze as they get out of the car.

“What? No. Of course not,” Jesy answers, much too quickly for her own liking.

 “Jes, it’s okay to be nervous. This is a whole new experience for both of us,” Perrie says, giving her a smile that Jesy thinks is meant to be reassuring. However, Jesy can see the nervousness in the crooked tilt of Perrie’s lips, the worry in her wide blue eyes.

Perrie’s always trying to be strong for Jesy, something that Jesy’s not sure if she’ll ever be used to, but that she’s glad for nonetheless. Jesy’s always wondered why Perrie feels the need to do that with her, but she’s glad for it nonetheless. It was sort of nice to not have to be the strong one all the time.

Speaking of not being strong, Jesy was entirely freaking out. How was she supposed to stay calm in a moment like this? She was about to become a mother, for God’s sake!

“What if we’re not ready?” She asked, her voice shaking and her hands starting to sweat like crazy.

Perrie stopped in her tracks and turned Jesy around to face her.

“Why do you say that? We’ve conquered so much together, Jes.”

“We have, but nothing could prepare us to become parents!”

After all, raising a puppy together could hardly be compared to raising a child.

“But we both want this, Jesy. We’ve been waiting for months to get to this point.” Perrie sounded scared, like she was afraid Jesy was going to back out of this at the last minute. They had been caught up in paperwork for the last 6 months, all to get to this day where they could finally become parents, and all of a sudden Jesy was jumping ship.

“Pez, you’re my wife. We’ll get through this together, of course,” she said, taking Perrie’s hands in hers and hoping Perrie didn’t notice how sweaty they were. “I’m just worried, you know?”

“I know, babe. Me too,” Perrie admits.

Perrie cradled Jesy’s face in her hands, standing so close that Jesy wondered if there actually was any space left between them. She smiled at her and Jesy felt a flood of courage rush through her veins.

She’d always felt like she could do anything if Perrie was there to do it with her.

“But I also know that you, Jessica Louise Nelson Edwards, are going to be the best mother our daughter could ever dream of.”

Jesy felt her eyes turn glassy.

_Their daughter..._

She had never dared to think of the baby in that way until now out of fear that they wouldn’t be considered worthy to adopt. That fear had been unfounded, of course, as Jesy and Perrie were almost immediately granted permission to adopt and had chosen a little baby girl.

“And you, Perrie Louise Nelson Edwards, already are,” Jesy said, leaning in.

Their sweet words were sealed with a kiss before they smiled at each other and wiped away their tears. The married couple once again linked their hands and walked towards the building where their daughter was waiting for them to come and get her. Jesy held the door open for Perrie, who gave her a small wink, before she walked inside and greeted the man that was waiting for them.

“Isaac!” Perrie shrieked as she hugged the rather tall fellow who didn’t seem to be expecting a physical attack like a Perrie-hug can be.

“Hello ladies,” Isaac smiled after Perrie released him from her vice-like embrace. “Ready for the big day?”he asked, toothy smile on display.

Perrie looked at Jesy with big blue eyes, as if she was wondering what Jesy might answer.

“As ready as we can be,” Jesy answered with confidence. Perrie grinned and hugged Jesy’s side.

“I’m glad to hear that. We took care of all the paperwork last week, so there is only one thing left for you two to do..”

Perrie and Jesy frowned a little, wondering what other hoop they could possibly have left to jump through, but Isaac only laughed at their confusion. 

“Taking your baby home, of course!”

“Oh,” Perrie sighed as Jesy let a little curse slip under her breath. Both girls really weren’t in the mood for any kind of jokes.

“I’ll just go and fetch her then,” Isaac said with a little cough, eager to distance himself-quite literally-from his ill-received joke.

Once he’d gone, Jesy sat down on the sofa with a sigh.

“I’m crazy nervous, Pez,” she groaned as she rubbed her temples with her fingertips, shutting her eyes for a moment.

“You’re mistaking excitement for nervousness, my Jesminda,” Perrie said with a grin as she sat down next to her wife and hugged her.

Jesy leaned against Perrie, feeling an immense amount of comfort in her embrace, like nothing in the world could go wrong. She silently prayed she’d never lose the feeling of being safe and protected in Perrie’s arms.

Somehow, she knew she never would.

Even Perrie’s scent made her relax instantly. It wasn’t her shampoo or perfume, it was just Perrie. Her wife. Calling Perrie her wife still sounded magical to Jesy, even though it had been 4 years since they’d tied the knot. With Perrie she felt like a 16 year old girl, going about with her first girlfriend, feeling like she was untouchable.

“I love you, Perrie.” Jesy whispered as she buried her face in Perrie’s neck, taking deep breaths and enjoying being near her.

Perrie planted a big kiss on Jesy’s cheek as she traced her jaw with a gentle touch, a non-verbal way of saying it back. She knew Jesy needed to feel it more than she needed to hear it right now.

Still, she whispered it in her hair for good measure, “I love you too, Jesy.”

They both felt perfectly happy in their little bubble of each other when they heard a door open and then quietly swish closed.

They looked up and the sight that greeted them was simply priceless. Isaac walked towards them, holding a small bundle in his arms. Perrie and Jesy slowly stood up and looked down at the precious little girl cradled in Isaac’s long arms. Tears quickly sprung in their eyes and Jesy softly laughed because she was already crying. This baby was making her soft as jelly.

“Who wants to hold her first?”Isaac asked, looking at Perrie and then at Jesy.

“Per-” Jesy started but Perrie cut her off.

“No Jesy, you go first.” Jesy looked at her questioningly, as if to ask are you sure? but Perrie just nodded.

“You ready?” Isaac asked, already handing the baby girl to Jesy. Jesy cradled the baby to her chest on instinct and as soon as she did, the baby’s wide eyes popped open. They were blue and shiny, almost eerily similar to Perrie’s, and her skin was pale against the purple onesie she was wearing.

Her tiny hand quickly took hold of a lock of Jesy’s red hair. The baby’s own hair was quite dark, a little tuft peeking out from beneath the tiny hat she was wearing. Jesy swore she could literally feel her heart melt, happy tears streaming down her cheeks.

Making the decision not to wear any makeup had clearly been a wise one.

Perrie wrapped her arms around Jesy’s shoulders from behind and gazed down at their daughter.

“Heya, Scarlett.” She said ever so softly, as if she was afraid to break the trance Jesy had entered from the moment she held the baby. The four month old baby made sounds of joy and a tiny smile crept onto her little face.

“Pez...” Jesy whispered, very obviously in awe of the tiny human being she was holding.

“I know,” Perrie replied. What they were feeling couldn’t possibly be described by any word other than one: Happiness.

Scarlett made gurgling noises and kept smiling at her two mothers, neither of whom could resist returning the baby’s happy grin.

Perrie reached out with a shaking hand to touch the baby’s cheek and when she did, Scarlett reached up and formed a tight fist around Perrie’s index finger. Perrie gasped and then beamed at Jesy who was watching the two, completely and utterly enamored.

“D’you want to take her?” Jesy asked, somehow managing to tear her eyes away from the baby for a few seconds to focus on Perrie’s face. Perrie slowly nodded, her throat too tight to speak. Jesy carefully placed the baby in Perrie’s waiting arms and the little girl settled herself comfortably against Perrie’s chest.

Suddenly it all felt real to Jesy. They were mothers now. This was their daughter and they were going to take care of her for the rest of their lives. They’d teach her to love herself no matter what other people might think of her. They’d support her with anything she wanted to do and whoever she decided to love. They’d be there through every love, every heartache, every smile, every tear. They would always be there for their daughter. If she didn’t know who she could turn to, they would be there. Because that’s what being a parent is, right? Being there for your kid unconditionally.

Jesy hugged her two girls, eliciting a small laugh from Scarlett’s throat. She still couldn’t stop her crying, and the sounds Scarlett had made didn’t make it any easier. It was the most precious thing Jesy had ever heard.

“She’s so cute,” Jesy laughed and sobbed at the same time.

Scarlett looked up at her, a smile playing on her pink lips as she reached her arm for Jesy. She gave Scarlett her hand in return and the baby gladly took hold of her mother’s tattooed fingers. She pulled with all her strength and popped one of said fingers into her mouth, sucking on them like a pacifier.

Perrie caught sight of Jesy’s wedding ring and even though she had seen it a million times before, the small silver band gave her a different feeling now. Their family was complete, everything had fallen together perfectly. They were married, had a baby, a house and a bunch of dogs. With everything that had happened in her life, Perrie had never expected such a cliche life to ever be hers. But she wouldn’t change it for anything.

Perrie laughed and Jesy joined her. If the baby kept gnawing at her finger like she was now, Jesy wouldn’t be able to wear fake nails for a long time.

She didn’t mind one bit.

Jesy reached out with her free hand and brushed a small piece of hair out of Scarlett’s face. The baby’s eyes followed the movement carefully and when Jesy placed her hand on her hip, Scarlett’s eyes flicked to her mother’s face, the muscles in her mouth relaxing and finally letting go of Jesy’s finger.

Jesy beamed and bent down to a level where Scarlett’s intense gaze couldn’t follow. She then jumped up again and cooed “Peek-a-boo!”

The little girls eyes went wide, before a set of giggles filled the air. Jesy repeated the movement a few more times, receiving laughter and smiles from both Scarlett and Perrie.

“I really don’t want to ruin the moment,” said Isaac hesitantly, both girls had long forgotten he was here., “but I do have more couples coming in today and the next one could be here any minute, so...”

“We’ll be on our way, then,” Jesy answered with a smile, wiping her eyes quickly and smoothing down her top. “Thank you so much. For everything,” she said as she shook Isaac’s hand. She was on the verge of tears again.

“You’re quite welcome. If you ever need me again for whatever reason, call me.” he said with a smile, giving Perrie’s shoulder a gentle pat.

She still had two arms full of baby, so she just smiled and thanked him in return.

With that, the couple made their way back to the car, walking ever so slowly and carefully with their baby. After a bit of struggling, they successfully buckled Scarlett up in her chair and Perrie joined her in the backseat. Jesy drove because they both knew that Perrie wasn’t the best driver and she was even worse when she was stressed. Plus, Perrie really wanted to sit in the back with the baby, and who could deprive her of that?

 

Now they were lazing in the living room of their large home, Perrie and Jesy sitting close to each other on the couch and Scarlett sleeping across her mummy’s laps.

“That was quite the day, wasn’t it?” Perrie sighed contently, her voice low so she wouldn’t wake the baby.

It was quite a stressful day. When Scarlett had first started crying they had both freaked out a little bit, not really knowing what to do. Luckily the smell of Scarlett’s nappy gave away the reason why she was crying. However, changing her nappy had been a whole different sort of problem. They had practised changing nappies on a doll, but that experience didn’t even come close to the real thing. Scarlett had kicked her little feet around, waved her tiny fists in the air, and laughed like she’d just heard the funniest joke. The girl was quite flexible too, she had put her toes in her mouth more than once, reminding Perrie and Jesy how capable a four month old baby already was. She had tried to roll onto her tummy but failed miserably, causing her to start whining and pouting, reminding Jesy suspiciously much of Perrie. The blonde girl denied ever doing such a thing, of course, but Jesy knew her better than that.

When they had finally managed to get Scarlett into a clean diaper and some fresh clothes, she started crying again, this time because she was hungry. Perrie had pushed the wailing baby into Jesy’s arms and ran into the kitchen to get a bottle of formula. She returned 15 minutes later, saying something about poorly written instructions on the box.

Scarlett had greedily downed the whole bottle, even to the last drop, and when Jesy tried to make her burp, the baby puked on her shoulder.

Perrie found it hilarious.

Jesy did not.

After a little bit of clean up, the rest of the evening had been spent playing with the baby, feeding her, changing her nappy a few more times and giving her a bath. Well, at least they tried to give her a bath. Jesy and Perrie ended up more wet than the baby, who found it quite amusing to throw waves of water over the side of the baby bath.

The couple also discovered that Scarlett’s favourite toy was a pink stuffed rabbit. If you took it from her she started to make sounds of disapproval, and would eventually cry.

“It was the best one of my life, apart from marrying you,” Jesy said, giving Perrie a million dollar smile before pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Perrie giggled like a teenage girl and laid a hand on Jesy’s face, her wedding ring sparkling even in the dim light.

“You have no idea how much I love you, Jessica.” Their eyes locked and for a moment, nothing else in the world seemed to exist but them and their softly snoring daughter.

Jesy leaned forward and Perrie met her in the middle, their lips coming together in a soft kiss.

“I know how much, Pez. And that’s not half as much as I love you.”

 

Everything was perfect.

 

 

**The end x**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that! I couldn’t get the idea of Pesy having a baby out of my head so, here it is. 
> 
> See you in the next one!

**Author's Note:**

> I'd just like to say that this is the FIRST fic I have ever posted so don't be too hard on me pls xD I'm just a beginning writer and I'm still trying to find my own style and stuff. If you have any prompts or ideas that you'd like to read, feel free to leave them in the comments or reach out to me on Tumblr! My Tumblr is @immacryyowzah and my Wattpad is @SwearImmaKillThem  
> I have a feeling no one is reading this, but okay. Hopefully I’ll see you in the next One Shot!


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